Chapter 14 Beginning of the End

Part III

The bulging vein in the captain’s forehead was not the only sign of his stifled irritation.  He continued to ask me questions for an hour after the debrief room cleared of my weary compatriots.   I wondered briefly if he was going to ask me to diagram the internal structures of a warp drive.  I hoped he did, I could draw it in my sleep.

He looked around noting the room was clear then said, “I guess the only question I have left Lieutenant is what the fuck where you thinking when you configured your ship this morning?  Were you not given an intel brief?  What kind of thick skulled, cocky stunt…”

He continued to drone and I knew he didn’t want an answer.   I had explained myself to the flight chief and my instructor already.  The obvious choice for the engagement based on the intelligence report was missiles.  I should have orbited outside of the pirate’s blaster range and pounded them with missiles until they popped.  But what fun would that be?  Blasters seemed like a better test of skill for my first combat checkride.

It was exhilarating, everything I imagined and more.  My instructors, playing the role of pirates, came at me with everything they had.  Honestly, I only had the upper hand because of my unorthodox tactics.  The engagement should have ended with the first ship destroyed before it could take a shot, and the second one chasing me from the asteroid belt. 

I jumped the first pirate before the second made it to the belt.  It was a close fight, but I keep an eye on my transversal and maintained optimal range, taking down the first pirate before the second one was on top of me.  When I turned to engage the second, my shields were almost gone.  The second instructor was ready for my blasters.  He fought hard, but in the end I blew up his Merlin before I lost my structure.  Okay, I was one shot away from a hull breach, but I still won.

“It makes me sick to pass you on this ride.  In the future you will be expected to listen to the intel and make an appropriate plan.  We are not pirates.  We are the most skilled pilots in the known universe.  Why are we the most skilled?  Because we are the best trained and most disciplined.  If you cannot prove you are smart enough, and disciplined enough, I don’t want you in my Navy.  Do you understand?” 

“Yes, sir,” I said, smile slipping across my face a little too early.

 “Get out of here!”

I stood and shot toward the door.    I couldn’t wait to get downstairs and compare notes with Tasha.  My adrenalin and excitement grew as I replayed the engagement in my head.  I hardly noticed the corridors passing by or the lift rides as I descended deeper into the station where the trainees lived.  In 20 minutes I found myself at the end of a long access tunnel with a particularly large window looking out into space.  It became our secret meeting place months ago when I was assigned to help Tasha with training.  She was already there looking out the window.

“Tasha, I had the most amazing flight,” I gushed, smiling from ear to ear.

She turned, and in the light I could see tears streaming down her face.

“What's wrong, Tash?”

She stood there trembling. I braced myself to keep from going over to her.

“I failed my checkride. I don't know what in the world I am going to do. It was horrible.”

“What happened?”

“I jumped into the belt and the pirates were waiting for me. The first one was on top of me before I even knew they were there. I tried to get into range but every time I shot I missed. It is so unfair. They are trying to wash me out!” She said, wrapping her arms around herself and staring at me.

“It sounds like you got out of optimal range for your weapons.  You just need...”

She stomped her foot on the ground and gave me an exasperated look that was text book Tasha. I couldn't help but smile. When the second look came I felt my cheeks flush and my heart start to pound.  A warm emotional starburst spread out inside of me.  Did I have a crush on her?  When had that happened? I pressed the thought down inside.  Now wasn’t the time.

“I know what I needed to do Laka! Nothing was working right and they were there so fast!”

I walked over and put my arms around her. She tensed for a second and then fell into me.  I held onto her tight and ran my fingers through her hair.  It was drenched.  How long had she been crying?  I pulled my hand away and it was covered in blood.  I tried to step away but she slumped against me.  I squeezed my arm around her cold body trying to help her stand back up.

“Tasha, there is something wrong.  You need to stand up so we can see if you are ok.”

She shook her head against my chest and let out a little laugh.  When she backed away I looked down to see both of my hands covered in blood and thick things I didn’t want to think about.  I wanted to run but my legs buckled and I fell to my knees. 

Icy panic spread down my arms and I turned my head to look out the window into space.  The window no longer held the beautiful light of distant stars because it was covered in flowing blood.  Blood was running from the ceiling, down the walls, into the floor. 

I closed my eyes and turned my head to confront the terror in front of me.  When I opened them she was standing there looking down at me eyes filled with amusement.  Her arms were crossed, foot poised ready to tap the ground in the pose I so often remembered.  She was too white and her smile was a fraction wider than humanly possible.  Blood poured out of her eyes and the corners of her mouth.

“You think too much Laka.”

She stepped toward me and I awoke to the buzz of an incoming communication blaring inside my skull.  I almost ripped myself loose from the pod before I realized what was happening.   I gasped for air and the pods life support system relayed somewhere in my mind that it was compensating for my increased respiration.  A thousand other feeds burned through my mind at an almost maddening pace.  

Instinct built from thousands of hours of training kicked in and I mentally sent out the command to deaden the information stream bringing it to a manageable level.  I fell back into my seat, panting and trying to get my bearings.  Slowly, the lightning storm in my head subsided.   

I didn’t know how long I had been asleep.  Time between sleep had become longer the more I stayed in my pod.  The need for sleep is masked when you are attached to the machine.  You can drive yourself to exhaustion without noticing.  Dying of dehydration or lack of food is a real possibility too.  I had to take care of myself.  It would be embarrassing to starve to death in a perfectly good pod while Antov was out there somewhere. 

I had been trying to chase down Antov for over a month.   About a week into my quest I resigned from my corporation and alliance. I couldn’t lead them anymore.  After Tasha's death I didn't think it would bother me. But giving up the corporation had been painful.

Antov had turned into a ghost.  Every time I was close he became vapor and slipped through my hands.  I was starting to question if he ever really existed.  So here I was, pushing my body to its limits inside a pod, with a single unfulfilled purpose to kill a man I could not find.

The death incarnate feeling had long since faded.  Now I was running on anger and hatred. It was more than enough.  However, as the feeling of being a god left me I had to give into the fact that I was a mere mortal.  I was mortal who had given into a dark side that I always resisted.  

I shook away all thoughts of morality and tuned back into to the pods information feeds.  There were a lot of messages waiting for me, but only one I cared about.  I cued it up and waited for the playback to start.

Lakasha, this is Karver.  Call me back as soon as you get this.

Surprisingly enough I found help where I never expected. Karver had become so interested in the spoofed Titan transponder readings that he kept digging until he found the Titans belonged to the Amarr government. Now he couldn’t seem to stop himself from digging deeper into my grave.  I wasn’t so naïve to think that if someone traced all of his hacking attempts it wouldn’t come back to me though.  I didn't care as long as I found Antov.  Whatever happened after that was irrelevant.

I opened up the communications channel and punched in Karver's access code. After a few minutes he answered

 “I see you’re awake. I have exciting news.”

“Well, don't hold back let’s hear what you found”

“While you have been having dreams of me I have been busy running thousands of data link searches.   If you understood the complexity of the algorithms you would see my genius.”

“You are a very smart man.  That is why I’m starting to like you so much.”    It wasn’t a lie, the slug of a man had started to grow on me.  But I was tired and frustrated so my patience for his ego stroking were growing thin.  “Is this getting somewhere?”

“Well, my frustrating friend, yes it is.  I cross referenced all the known Raiders, members of Geklov’s corporation, and anyone who would have Titan access in the Amarr government.  I couldn’t find any correlation until six hours ago.”

“You have my attention.  Go on.”

“Antov Romanski has a cousin high up in the Amarr government.  His name is Leger Moltov, and he is the Deputy War Minster of the Amarr Empire.”

For the first time in a long time I smiled.  It looked like I was heading to Amarr Prime. 

Chapter 13 Judgement

I tried to analyze the peace that had fallen over me as I made my way back to the lifts.  Throughout my life I felt as though I was at odds with the universe.   My soul vibrated at a slightly different frequency then the rest of existence.  Now everything shifted into perfect harmony with the universe. 

I surrendered myself to the moment and in return a divine peace fell over me.  I had a charter from God.  All the rage and pain that had fueled me was now a burning arrow of light made to destroy my enemies.  I was a zealot, anointed by god with Tasha’s blood.  I wore Tasha’s blood as my sigil as I went to take care of the person responsible for her death.

People saw me and cowered to the side.  I noticed everything; a security guard watching me, a man talking to his wife, a mother gathering her kids and running down the hall.   It was like the hyperawareness that came from being plugged into my pod. 

I walked to the lift and waited. The corridor that had been packed earlier was now practically deserted. Those who had been waiting for the lift when I arrived suddenly found they had something to do elsewhere. I turned and stared down the security guard who had been following me. He nodded politely and walked by continuing down the corridor. Going home tonight was more important than his shitty salary.

As I waited, the last few hours played through my head.  The whole setup had been a masterful plan created to inflict the most pain possible.  Geklov had brought me to his office, intentionally separating me from Tasha.  Allowing me to believe until the end that there was a chance she would be alright.  I had been wrong about his motivation and what he wanted. He wanted to make an example.

The lift opened and I strode in. Of the four other passengers, three immediately decided to leave. The forth was a young Caldari man dressed in a leather jacket and weathered jeans. His face was full of metal piercings and an Amarr tattoos covered his face. I smiled coldly as he tried to stare me down.  At the next stop he got off.

When I exited on Geklov’s floor, people loitering around the lift made a path for me. I fed off their fear as I stalked down the corridor.  This is how it always should have been. I have spent too much time thinking about right and wrong living up to a self-imposed code of honor. Now I realized I had put those standards in place to keep myself in check. Without those controls, I could unleash who I really was.

I walked to Geklov's office. I was in no hurry, he would be there. It was the will of the universe.  As I turned the final corridor I could see someone standing guard outside. As I got closer, I could see it was Herrier. I slid my hand down to my blaster as I continued my stride towards the door.  He did the same.  His eyes searched my soul as I fixed him in my gaze; confusion, followed by dawning realization spread across his face. 

I was ready, but he nodded and put his hands in the air as he conceded, “He’s fucked up too many times and is way behind on his payments. I quit.”

He retreated, keeping his hands in the air and eyes on me. I let him go. I never had a problem with him. We worked well together in the fight against the Blood Raiders. He was a good man as far as mercenaries go and I didn't feel any purpose would be served by killing him today.

I hit the panel beside the door and heard the click of the locking mechanism. I entered and waited for the door to close behind me. Geklov was standing in the office in front of his desk. If he was surprised by my entrance I couldn’t tell.  He didn't say anything as turned and locked the door. When I turned around, he had scurried to his chair.

“Lakasha, I don't know what has happened but I assure you we can work together to fix whatever is wrong.”  He was using his most charming corporate leadership voice. The same voice he had used to convince all of his corporation members that the Blood Raiders would not harm them. Lies of course. They were spared because some stood up and sacrificed themselves while Geklov worked a deal to flee like a coward.

Maintaining my own calm, I walked around the furniture and started up the steps. By the time I reached the top, he was cowering in his chair. I felt the anger explode inside me as I watched the slug take in a quivering breath. The anger didn’t make it to my face. Finally, I had mastered the fine art of concealing my feelings. Too bad it had taken so much pain to learn.

“Tell me what has happened and I will do what I can to fix this. Did Antov do something?” I could tell by the way his body flinched he was hitting the panic button on the floor.  He tensed as he prepared to dive under the desk. I stood, hands crossed over my chest, and waited for him to realize that no one was coming to help.

After a few uncomfortable seconds, his right hand started to fidget under the desk. I realized he probably had some kind of weapon concealed there.  This desk that would protect him from a bomb blast also protected me from the gun unless it had some kind of unarmored area to penetrate. I stepped slightly to my right just in case. If he was going to shoot me he would have to bring the weapon up over the desk.

“Did you kill Herrier, Lakasha? Is that what all of the blood is from?  Don't worry, I am not mad about it-- if that is the case. Whatever this is about, I am willing to work it all out.” His hand continued to fidget under the desk while he tried to calm me down.

I slid my hand down to my blaster and watched his eyes double in size. Everything happened in slow motion after that. His hand appeared from behind the desk gripping a small nickel plated carbine. As the gun came out and leveled on me his hand exploded in a mess of blood, clumps, and steam. It reminded me of a geyser.

Geklov's screams brought me out of my time-slowed trance. He pulled the stump of his right arm up against his chest and held it with his left. I looked down to see my blaster out and pointed at him.  He rocked back and forth in the chair screaming with each jerky movement. I waited for him to notice he was still alive and that I was still there.

He looked up at me with complete terror in his eyes. At first I didn't think he registered what was going on but then he tried to talk. Each time he opened his mouth, only a loud moan came out.  He placed his left hand on the desk, using it to try and stand. He managed to make it to his feet but he slumped over the desk.

“Please Lakasha, my men will be here soon. Just leave, I will let you go,” he cried out. I stood there and watched the once mighty man bleed all over his table. It was satisfying.

He couldn't fight anymore and his men never showed up so he started walking around the desk. Once he arrived at the front he stopped and took a breath. He never once looked at me. I could tell he was lost in his own thoughts and pain. I was not going to let him slip away so easy. He was going to suffer right up until the end.

I waited until he had covered half the distance from the desk to the steps to the living area and walked up behind him. He barely shuffled his feet more than a foot at a time. I watched each foot hit the ground and waited for him to shift his weight forward.  I brought my foot up and slammed it into the back of his knee with my steel toed boot; trying to drive my foot through the floor.

There was a satisfying crunch as Geklov's knee slammed into the ground.  His body followed, arms flailing. He screeched like a wounded rabbit caught in a trap. I stood above him and watched the show.

“Please let me go!” he screamed in agony.

“You are a disease, Geklov. Turn over!”

He didn't move and his pleas grated on my nerves. He was begging to live after being willing to sacrifice so many. Who knew how many people had died in his quest for power? I wondered for a moment if Tasha had begged for her life too, or if she had even been given the option. Even if she had, the result was the same. She was dead, and I would allow him the same mercy that he had shown so many others.

He refused to turn over so I kicked him in the ribs repeatedly. I couldn't hear any of them snapping but each kick felt a little mushier.

“Turn the fuck over!”

“Oh god, oh god”

I knelt down beside his head and ran my fingers through his blood soaked hair. “Prayers won't help. God sent me.” I growled as I yanked back on his head. He screamed for someone to help.

I stood, releasing his disgusting head.  He tried to turn over, pushing at the floor with his left hand.  He made it about half way and then fell back on his face. He pushed up again and this time I caught his chest with the toe of my boot and pushed him over on his back.

There was a pool of blood where his right arm had lain beneath him. One knee was crushed, and it looked like he had managed to break his nose when he fell on the floor. There couldn't have been much life left in him.  I think he knew that too because in that moment his eyes cleared as he tried one last time to negotiate for his life.

“Please...Lakasha. It's not too late. I will let you go. Just call the paramedics and leave.”

I stared down at him and placed a foot on each side of his body.  Rage burned through me as the peace evaporated.  The purpose that had filled me fled and I realized that all of this pain I was inflicting was my doing. No higher purpose was being served. In this moment, I had become one of the monsters I despised.  It didn't bother me at all.

I dropped to my knees and brought my gun to his head. His eyes widened and I thought for a second he was going to pass out.

“I will give you anything. You and Tasha can go; you can have money or whatever you want. Please you can have everything!”  He was bargaining with what he had taken away. He was losing his mind before I got a chance to make him suffer to the end.

I set down on him and ground myself into his midsection. “Mutually pleasing, Geklov?” I asked.

Leaning forward I grabbed his chin with my left hand. He jerked his head away fixing his eyes on the wall. I dug my fingers into the spot where his jaw connected to his skull with the intent of separating it at the joint if he didn't look at me. He tried to resist, but the pain was overwhelming and he found himself looking into my eyes.

I forced his mouth open with my fingers and slid the barrel of the blaster in as slow as I could. He mumbled something around the barrel, teeth clicking against the cold metal. I pushed the blaster to the back of his mouth until it hit something solid.

A wet gag was the last sound he made as I turned my head and pulled the trigger. There was a loud blast followed by the burn of vaporized blood along the side of my face.  

I stood up and continued to shoot. Each blaster bolt tore into his chest, sending clumps of goo and shards of bone into the air along with sprays of bloody vapor. I shot repeatedly until the blaster charge was gone. Eventually I realized I was dry firing and let the blaster drop to my side.

Lakasha Nachthexen you are an enemy of the Caldari State, drop your weapon and wait for security detainment

I caught my breath while I observed what remained of Geklov. His torso was, for the most part, ripped to shreds. The most disturbing part of his remains, for some reason, was a ribbon of flesh and muscle that ran along what use to be his side up to what was left of his right arm. There was enough left to remind your brain that the mess in the floor was a body. No matter how much I tried I couldn't stop my brain from wanting to reassemble the corpse.

I walked away from the body and stepped into the living area. Across the room was a full length mirror. I didn't recognize the person in the reflection. She was completely covered in blood from the top of her head to her boots. Large chunks of gunk clung to her hair and face. The only thing that wasn't red was her teeth. The teeth were visible because of the maniacal grin.

Eventually, I walked toward the door and headed for my ship. Killing Geklov would have made my security status drop well below what I needed to be in this system. I would have to be careful. I was covered in blood, and chunks of brain and flesh.  There was a chance that someone might decide to stop me. They would die if they tried.

I saw no one on the trip back to my ship.  It was waiting and ready for me.  I quickly ran the checklists, ejected my pod, and accelerated out of the hanger into space.

One down, one to go.

Chapter 12 Into the Darkness

I stood inside the doorway as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. The only light was coming from the ridiculous blue neon sign.  The top was now dark, sparks cascading to the floor and smoke rolling from the back. Several of the paintings were on the floor.  One of the chairs near the wall was broken. The wall around the couch, near the sign, was covered in what looked like dark paint.

My body trembled.  An icy hand griped at my heart, leaving me with the impulse to turn and run from the room.  A small voice in the back of my head kept telling me I didn't have to go any further.  I could call security and they would take care of things for me.

“Tasha?” It was almost a whisper. It was all I could do to push it out of my throat. I stopped and waited for a response. I didn't want to move around the couch. If she would answer I wouldn't have to go any farther. 

The only response I received was the erratic low buzz of the dying light. Maybe she was in the bedroom. I would walk around the couch and go to her room. Maybe she was sleeping.

I took a breath and closed my eyes trying to steady myself. Once I opened them again I slowly walked toward the couch. I kept my eyes high above the paint splatters on the wall, focusing on the door to her room.  I forced each heavy step, one after another, until I made it to the end of the couch. 

As I stepped around the couch I saw her. She was on her side lying on the floor. Her left arm was up over her face and the right was lying at an angle behind her. Her hair was damp, wrapped like vines around her head and arm. I fixated on her hair, using it like a life preserver keeping my mind afloat instead of noticing the giant wave about to crash down on me. 

“Tash, why is your hair messed up?”

Her hair was never messed up, never.  The little voice spoke again telling me if her hair was messed up maybe she was hurt.   Then it was like time started again. I sucked in air not realizing I had been holding my breath.  My blaster slipped from my hand.  I dropped hard to my knees, the impact jarring me all the way up my spine to my head.

I reached out a shaky hand and moved her arm from her face.  She was a little cooler then she should have been and her hair was wet. I pulled my hand away and looked down to find dark black liquid on my fingers. It was blood.

She was hurt and I needed to find out where. I was moving at a frantic pace now, using both hands to search through her hair and find where she was bleeding, but there was nothing. I stared at her quite face, afraid to look anywhere else or this might become real. 

I tore my eyes away allowing them to track down her neck to her chest and that is where I found it. There was a black spot on her shirt.  It was no bigger than the diameter of my thumb an inch below her heart. I pushed one hand against her chest to put pressure on the wound and the other on her shoulder to pull her toward me. If there was an entrance wound there might be an exit wound.

I pulled at her shoulder and her limp body fell against my legs. There was an exit wound on her back, and it was the size of my fist. It took a second for my eyes to register what I was seeing.  There was a mass of dark black clumps clinging to where the bullet had exited her body.

As the wave of reality crashed down I screamed as loud as I could. I reached up under her arm and pulled her against me as I sat all the way down on the floor. I wrapped both of my arms around her and held her to me as if we were hugging. Her head fell to the side and I slid a hand up to hold her face against mine.

I screamed and screamed. Anger filled each of my breaths and ripped out of my body. My mind was on fire with rage. The only thing in the universe that had ever mattered to me was her, and someone had taken her from me. With each shuddering scream anger poured from me into the room and out into the hallway.  My body trembled with each heaving breath and I could feel a part of myself, the part that had emotion and compassion, drain out as well. 

Eventually, I didn't have the voice left to scream. A dry whimper was all that was left. I reached over and picked up my blaster with the hand that I had wrapped around Tasha's waist. Then, holding her with the other, I slowly started pulling both of us back to the wall. I struggled with her limp body as I got closer to the wall. I put the blaster back down so I could use both arms to pull her back.

My back hit the wall and I pulled her up against my chest. I rested her head against mine then reached down to pick up my blaster with my left hand. I held her against me and silently cried. Hot tears poured down my face washing the last parts of me away with them.

A thousand thoughts fled from my mind.  Memories of the laughs and love that I held close, so no one could see how much they meant, poured out.  I remembered every second of my time with her.  A time before my life had become dark.  As each coveted memory tore away, they left a dark place behind. 

I could have saved her.  The weight of that knowledge in my moment of grief was crushing.  For a brief second I thought about pulling my blaster up to my head.  I could almost feel its cold metal against my temple. Once, not so long ago, I stood on the edge of the abyss looking up toward happiness.  She had represented that happiness.  I chose to plunge into the darkness then.  I embraced that decision now.  It was all I had left to keep me afloat. 

I held her until she was cold, occasionally kissing the top of her head. I could taste her blood each time. I didn't think anymore, because there was nothing left to think about.

From where we were sitting I could see out the open door. Occasionally people would walk by, look into the darkness, and leave.  At one point, two security guards looked in then walked on.  I watched the scene outside in a detached sort of way. Life was going on outside the door.  Everything inside was dead.

Time passed and I noticed more people crossing outside of the doorway. I could feel that warm familiar feeling of anger as it started smolder. Life was going on outside the door and it wasn't fair. The only bright spot in my universe was gone. My life had ended with hers; someone had taken it from us. The anger built until it was an inferno. I knew what I had to do before I slipped away. There were people that would pay for this.

I closed my eyes and hugged her close one last time. Then I carefully slid her to the floor beside me. I pulled her hair out of her face and gently closed her eyes so she could rest. Then I leaned over and kissed her cold lips.

As I stood I looked at her one last time then turned for the door. Inside the room was death, I was death. The cold calm that was the pirate had slipped over me as I sat in the room and mourned. Honestly, I didn't remember ever being anything else but the pirate. A few of my friends used to look at me when I was really pissed and joke that I looked like death. Turns out they were right. That is exactly what I was.

I walked to the door, excited that I was about to be turned loose on the living world. I was free now, released from all the things that had made me Lakasha Nachthexen. All that was left was the cold, calculating, death dealing pirate. It was a side of me that I had always managed to keep in check. Now it was free. God help anyone who got in my way.

A smile spread across my face and I stepped into the light.